Retro-Blog: 2009.12.14 - More about Dad's condition

More about Dad's condition.
Michael Kepler
December 14, 2009   · 4 min read  · Shared with Public

For anyone who might want more detail, I'll do what I can here.  The problem is, I get mostly conflicting second and third hand information.  Oddly, that's how just about everyone feels, including his own wife.   I can only report what I have observed.  I don't know how many relatives or anyone else who would be interested might read this, but I feel I might as well post it just in case.

I do not know of any definitive diagnosis, or even exactly what his condition was when he was checked into the hospital.   He had been in the hospital for at least 24 hours before I even heard about it.  That is a whole stupid petty story in itself.

Yesterday, he was conscious, but only semi-responsive.  Speaking appeared to be very difficult for him, and what he said was mostly impossible to understand. He only occasionally appeared to understand some portions of what was being said to him.  He was physically very weak and cold to the touch.

Today, his cognitive functionality and ability to communicate seemed much better.  He could recognize everyone who visited and remembered our names without prompting.   He had no memory of the previous day or two.  He had short term memory problems, asking repeatedly where his wife was after she had left for the day.  His ability to communicate kind of faded in and out.  A couple of times he would form complete sentences with recognizable words, but none of it made any kind of obvious sense.  Other times, he could carry on short completely coherent conversations.  It seemed that my Son and I had the most success communicating with him, among those present. He remains very weak physically, but was very interested in getting out of bed and moving around, which he did, with help.  He very clearly wanted to leave and go home.

Going forward, he is expected to remain in the hospital at least one or two more days.  Most people involved seem fairly certain that he will then be transferred to an assisted care facility for an indeterminate period of time before he can go home.  Some seem convinced that he may never go home again, as they feel his condition will not improve sufficiently to allow he and his wife to live together independently.

I feel a lot of this is premature speculation.  If his condition continues to improve at the rate it has in the past 24 to 48 hours, he could be back to his "usual" self as early as tomorrow, which should be good enough to let him go home with his wife.

If he remains in the hospital tomorrow (Monday) night, I will be taking the overnight shift sitting in his room with him.  My sisters have been doing so up until now.

His "usual" self, by my limited observation from short and infrequent visits, is still someone with hit-and-miss memory, both long and short term, but able to move about and take care of himself.  When I saw him last Christmas (2008), he actually seemed more coherent in conversation that he had at our previous visit some months earlier.

My dad has survived both lung and brain cancer, and is in his 70's, so all things considered, he has been doing very well until this most recent episode.

And just to get the petty part out there and over with.  I am neither pleased nor surprised that both of my sisters knew he was in the hospital at least a full day and night before I found out, yet it was neither of them who called and told me.  I found out from my Mother, who had found out from her sister, who had found out from my cousin, and that's where my trace-back of the chain breaks, so I don't even know how many more-distantly-related people it took for word to make it's way around to me, seemingly more by accident than by intent on the part of those closest to the situation.  I give much credit and thanks to my Mother for promptly calling me as soon as she heard, especially considering that she has been divorced from this man for more years than she was married to him.

To be fair, I have failed to maintain contact with my sisters now for many years.  Both have made multiple overtures to which I have failed to respond.   The reasons for this are complex and involve episodes in our family history which I try to avoid remembering.   I'm not avoiding the people themselves as much as I am avoiding that history.   I'm sorry that I have to be so vague, but not nearly as sorry as I and others might be if I were to get into the details, especially in such a public setting.

That is probably more than enough said in this setting.  

This is a cross-posting, pasted from my MySpace blog, which remains my primary and preferred online presence, until I can get my own site into shape.Dad, in the hospital 2009.12.12
5 Comments

Elaine Romero
Michael, thank you for sharing. I send my prayers to you and your father and to your family. I'm sorry that your siblings left you out of the loop. My oldest brother, Mark, who can be found on my Facebook page is a good source to direct medical questions. He has a lot of years of being able to read medical signs and is intuitive that way. Much love to you and yours.
Elaine

    12y

Michael Kepler
Yeah, I was told "stroke" at first, but the symptoms don't support it. There is no asymmetry in his admittedly limited dexterity. Frustratingly, an MRI was scheduled, then canceled. He's geetting "oh he's just old" treatment from the doctors and most of his family. I have no influence.

    12y

Marilen Wood
For whatever it's worth, Michael, I know how hard this can be. Hang in there...I'm right there with ya.

    12y

Michael Kepler
To correct myself, I have since learned that a stroke in the cerebral cortex does not cause any asymmetrical motor function. Obvious in retrospect. The doctor treated me like I was an idiot over this, and I tend to agree. In any case, Dad has had no recent stroke. The MRI showed evidence of a a very old stroke, perhaps years ago, but no "smoking gun" to explain his recent episodes.

    12y

Elaine Romero
Wow, Michael. Please know our hearts our with you. I don't like the doctor treating you like an idiot. It sounds like a very difficult situation with your father's condition.

        12y