This kind of isolate suffering and dread was mine. Now it belongs to everyone.
I feel cheated, unaccountably responsible, and terribly sorry.
There is no way to be careful enough to save myself.
I am doing all I can to not be a part of this thing hurting others, but I can't control anyone but me.
I am so sick of anecdotal happy news about how wonderful people are being while this is happening. None of that wonderful stuff will stop this from happening. There will be very few left when it is over, and I will not be among them, but I didn't have long to go anyway.
I am well past "somedays".
I am well into wondering which things I have already done for the last time.
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