My previous post was too early in the process of dosage increase. I also complicated matters by being impatient and going from the intermediate dose of 125 to the new dose of 150 after only 5 days.
Again not any sort of manic happiness, just a more balanced perspective behind how I feel about things. I am once again fairly consistently capable of gratitude, yet not completely crushed by shame over having been an ungrateful ass. The process of making amends where I feel it is needed is often difficult because I have conditioned people to take a defensive and suspicious stance when interacting with me.
My biggest concern is that once again my condition will degrade over the course of very few months, and another 50mg increase puts me at the maximum of 200, and if that doesn't work or last, there is nowhere to go but things like ECT.
No comments:
Post a Comment