Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Honk If You Love Retro-Blogs.

I don't hear any honking.

All blogging by Michael "Mookie" Kepler (born James Milton Wood [Jr.]), is suspended for the foreseeable future.  Brief reports on family events and such will continue to be posted on Facebook, probably.

Thanks to Zoloft I no longer feel a frequent urgent desire to die, nor do I spend extended periods of time obsessing about how worthless and meaningless my existence is.  I had not addressed these states of mind in previous writing, or speaking, because I felt it was somehow inappropriate.  I'm not sure why I think it is OK now.

For some years now, Clonazepam has kept my mind out of truly horrifying places which had haunted me, often to the point of intolerable anguish, since I was three years old.  So, that's old news, but it seemed related.

I guess the message is "Better tolerance of living through chemicals, hooray!"

Your results will almost certainly vary, and finding the right chemicals to tolerate your life, if needed, is a matter between you and your Psychiatrist, if any.  Finding what seem to be the right chemicals for me took literally years of very unpleasant, and possibly dangerous at times, trial and error.

I suspect the ideal dosage of Zoloft for me is yet to be found.  The darkness no longer overtakes me, but I feel it trying.  I do not feel safe yet, but I am grateful for the improvements that have come.

Just so you know, I know that "tolerance" and "safe" are pretty much meaningless ideas, if you really apply any amount of critical logic to them.

This adequately demonstrates why I will no longer be writing into the void.

Goodbye, Imaginary Audience.

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